KarateParty.org - There's No Business Like Show Business (1954)

Musical

1954
Directed by
Walter Lang
Written by
Phoebe and Henry Ephron (yes, the parents of Nora)
Cast
Ethel Merman .... Molly Donahue
Donald O'Connor .... Tim Donahue
Marilyn Monroe .... Vicky Hoffman/Vicky Parker
Dan Dailey .... Terence Donahue
Johnnie Ray .... Steve Donahue
Mitzi Gaynor .... Katy Donahue

There’s No Business Like Show Business. Most people can probably hum the tune, and most people probably haven’t seen this movie. And that’s how it should be. Irving Berlin’s catchy number is far more memorable than the half-baked musical that bares its name.

The Donahues are a vaudeville family. Their act grows over the years from a husband and wife team, to a five-piece with grown kids. Ethel Merman and Dan Dailey play the parents. To say Ethel Merman is an acquired taste, is to say the same for pierced ear drums. I wouldn’t be surprised if the world “belter” was coined for especially for her.

Over a seemingly random assortment of Irving Berlin tunes we follow the life of the family. They get a headline show, and perform a version of “Alexander’s Ragtime Band” that must surely have been beyond the budget of a vaudeville act. There are dozens of dancers, and numerous costume changes. It’s elaborate, but pointlessly so. The entire cast changes into German clothing to sing a verse of it in fake “funny” German.

The random songs don’t really do what songs do in most musicals. They could relate to the action or plot, reveal someone’s emotions or plans, or just underline a relationship. In this movie they’re just sort of there, the songs they sing on stage in between the dramatic scenes.

Around these musical numbers is the story of the family. These vignettes can best be described as cursory. We find out that Katy Donahue is about to receive a proposal when a guy (who I think was a producer on one of their shows) leans over to his co-worker during rehearsal and says “I think I’m going to marry that girl”. The relationship is so rushed that they don’t even have a scene of him proposing, they cram it into the middle of a family discussion on something else when the guy walks in and does it.

That family discussion takes place as part of the funniest subplot of the movie: Steve Donahue becoming a priest (Johnnie Ray is perfectly cast as the sort of guy who would do this). We know he’s going to become a priest when his first non-spoken piece of dialogue is “I think I’m going to become a priest”. This guy had sung one verse earlier on, so the audience is kind of puzzled, but the parent’s response is priceless. They’re pissed. His father asks him why he’s wasting his life, the mother tells him there’s so much to live for. Brilliant. Sadly, they soon come to terms with it.

Oh yeah, the cast list says Marilyn Monroe’s in this picture. And she is, in what truly is a tacked on role to improve a picture’s box office prospects. All of her songs were originally intended for the Donohue’s daughter Mitzi, but Monroe was offered the lead role in The Seven Year Itch if she appeared here so they got transferred to her.

So cue a tacked-on, and unlikely, romance between her and the other son Tim (Donald O’Connor). I’m guessing that a lot of the other family member’s subplots got ditched to make way for it. Monroe sings a few good songs, O’Connor dances around. But, it’s nothing great.

The movie then inserts some cursory family problems. O’Connor and Monroe have a spat, and O’Connor walks off and wanders the country. Then the father goes looking for him. This may sound like a big deal, but it just gets shown in montages of them getting on and off trains. This, of course, leads to the obvious conclusion. The family who had gone their separate ways, reunite on the edge of the stage, hug, and go on and sing one last song.

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