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MAC AND ME * out of *****
1988 Directed by Stewart Raffill Written by Stewart Raffill and Steve Feke Cast Christine Ebersole .... Janet Jonathan Ward .... Michael Tina Caspary .... Courtney Lauren Stanley .... Debbie Jade Calegory .... Eric Vinnie Torrente .... Mitford Martin West .... Wickett Ivan J. Rado .... Zimmerman Danny Cooksey .... Jack Jr Laura Waterbury .... Linda
 | Which of us is
uglier? | I don’t know if a film could have a more creatively bankrupt concept than Mac and Me. Not only is it a blatant rip-off of E.T., but it was backed by Coca-Cola and McDonalds and the plugging of their products is far from subtle. Ronald McDonald appears as "himself" in a Razzie-winning role (robbing the poor actor of his rightful award), and the aliens need Coca-Cola to live!
The film opens on a family of aliens wandering around the barren landscape of an alien world, stabbing the ground with straws and sucking up what turns out to be the equivalent of Coke. Then a NASA probes lands nearby. They go and investigate, get sucked into one of the sample-collecting tubes and transported back to earth. Back at NASA the scientists take the samples out of the probe (in a scene that seems to belong in a more serious sci fi film) and, of course, out pop those loveable aliens. Well not so much loveable, more like what Sloth from The Goonies would look like if a retarded 8-year old tried to replicate the makeup for a Halloween costume.
 | Eric is keen to experiment with his exotic new friend. | The aliens cause chaos, are chased around by soldiers and get separated. The youngest one (Mac) hitches a ride with a family moving out to California. Of course the family consists of an annoying kid, Eric, who's in a wheelchair. There’s also his older brother Michael, and his mother who is (I assume) a widow.
They move in to their new home, but weird things start happening. Rooms get redecorated, holes get cut in walls, etc. The mother thinks it's Eric, but Eric has been catching glimpses of Mac. This goes on for about 45 minutes. The only highlight in the whole sequence is Eric plummeting off a cliff in his wheelchair. Seeing him speeding towards that precipice would bring a smile to even the grimmest countenance. Sadly he lives thanks to Mac.
Once Eric and Mac finally become friends the real wackiness begins. Federal investigators are snooping around looking for Mac - just when Eric has to go to a birthday party at McDonalds! He can’t leave Mac alone, so he disguises him as a computerised teddy bear. A teddy bear that is about twice the size that Mac was before, despite the costume seeming pretty snug.
They go to what must be the craziest McDonalds birthday party ever. Not only are there kids breakdancing in the carpark, but the restaurant is packed out. And not just with kids, the entire senior class of the local high school seems to be at this kid’s birthday party. Then, as happens at all McDonalds birthday parties (confession: Mandroid was never invited to one), dancing breaks out inside. Elaborately choreographed dancing that includes a chorus line of guys in full American football gear.  | Even the French don't think this is a work of genius. |
Of course Mac can’t resist. He jumps up on the counter in full teddy bear suit and starts kicking some moves. The burger flippers even do a choreographed backing dance. Everyone’s having a great time, even Ronald McDonald gets into. Everyone except Eric, for obvious reasons.
I swear to God I have not made any of these things up. I’m going to go ahead and give away the ending now, I guess to give me something more to write about (and how many of you are really go and hunt this out?). The feds crash the party. The kids flee with Mac, including a McDonald’s employee who’s their neighbour (who wears her McDonalds shirt for the rest of the movie). They go in search of Mac’s family (Mac can use some weird alien signal that seems to involve holding your hands up in the shape of a woman’s bush).
They find Mac’s family near death in an abandoned mine. Luckily the have some Coke that brings them back to life. But they need more. They go to a gas station. The aliens wander off and get surrounded by cops. The aliens don’t understand what the police are demanding. Eric rushes to their side. The cops open fire on them, blowing the gas station sky high!
Eric appears to be dead, but the aliens walk out of the fire and bring him back to life. They don’t fix his legs though (jerks!). Then, cut to a courthouse, new American citizens are being sworn in. Of course the aliens are among them. Now Americans they cruise away in a pink Cadillac and the ominous words "We’ll be back" flash on the screen.
I am an honest guy, and if you rent this out you’ll find that all of this really happens. If only they’d sped things up in the first half I’d give this an unreserved recommendation. Still if you like jaw-droppingly nutty family films, you need to see this.
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