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Home arrow Other Entertainment arrow Movie Reviews arrow Skydivers, The (1963) - *

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Written by Mandroid3000   
THE SKYDIVERS
* out of *****

Genres
Action
Drama
 
1963
Directed by

Coleman Francis
Written by
Coleman Francis
Cast
Kevin Casey .... Beth Rowe
Eric Tomlin .... Joe Moss
Anthony Cardoza .... Harry Rowe (as Tony Cardoza)
Marcia Knight .... Suzy Belmont
Bob Carrano .... Bob
Michael Rae .... Red
Jerry Mann .... Bernie
Keith Walton .... Jim the photographer
Paul Francis .... Peter
Titus Moede .... Frankie Bonner
Jimmy Bryant .... Himself
Rue Barclay .... Band member
Junior Nichols .... Band member
Harold Hensley .... Band member

I cannot believe that I’ve seen three sky diving movies (the others being Terminal Velocity and Drop Zone). I haven’t even seen three basketball movies, and I actually like basketball. I can now honestly utter the sentence “The Skydivers is the worst skydiving film I’ve ever seen”. For sixty minutes it’s a badly acted, poorly directed, boring pile of rubbish. Then, for ten minutes it’s a poorly acted, poorly directed, entertaining pile of rubbish.

Beth and Harry are married and running a jump school. But Harry’s having an affair with Suzy, who’s also having an affair with Frankie (who Beth and Harry just fired for being a drunk). Then Harry hires his old Korean-war buddy Joe as a mechanic, and he starts a (apparently unconsummated) relationship with Beth. What a tangled an uninteresting web these passionate purveyors of parachuting pyrotechnics produce. Did I mention the Cro-Magnonesque Pete who panics and doesn’t open his chute, dies and gets the jump school closed.

The Skydivers is a bad story told badly. Bad, bad actors. Uninspired direction. Earnest speeches about the joys of sky diving. Completely random people showing up to watch people sky dive. And watching other people skydive on film is a little like being sober at a booze-up.

And after years of seeing giant sky diving formations, and stunt orientated sky diving scenes, The Skydivers simplistic shots of people falling through the air in the star position are immensely unexciting. Not quite as boring as listening to the endless, intimate conversations of Harry and Suzy, but that still leaves scope for it to be the sort of boring that will have you cutting yourself to see if you still feel.

But, when it seems like there’s another ten minutes of torture left, The Skydivers miraculously picks up. There’s a party with a really entertaining band (Jimmy Bryant and his Night Jumpers), some crazy 60s-style dancing, and a rowdy Scotsman. They’re partying because the club is going to do a night time jump (which clearly takes place during the day), and if it’s successful then something good will happen, I think the school will gain back their reputation from Pete plunging to his death. Frankly this marketing plan wouldn’t convince me to sign up for lessons at a fatality-prone jump school, but I’m not much of a daredevil.

As if this wasn’t enough, after Harry insults Suzy, she convinces the dopey Frankie (this is all so tiring) to put acid in one of the parachutes, causing Harry to plunge to his death. Then a random character says they saw Frankie and Suzy in the tent and a posse goes in chase on foot, by car and by plane. Cops join the posse, and gun down the fleeing suspects.

A fun ending to a poor film, but it doesn’t make up for the 60 minutes of drudgery it took to get there. Thinking about the ending is like remembering a great night of drinking before a two-day hangover. You should only subject yourself to The Skydivers if you can get your hands on the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 version, which, to complete (complicate? - ed.) the drinking metaphor, is like alternating between beer and water.

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