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Chairman Prime
Or, one boy’s adventures in China
The only important questions in life are the ones we ask when we’re young.
There were three main questions puzzling me when I was a youngster. The first was how two people could see the same thing and have two completely different experiences. Looking back now I can see it was a philosophical problem to do with the nature of separate perspectives and individual realities. The second was why a chair is called a “chair”. Out of all the possible, and not yet created words, how did we settle on “chair” for that particular body of matter. I don’t think we’ll ever have a satisfactory answer for that one…
The third question facing my curious young mind had to do with the nature of good versus evil. I’m sure a lot of people throughout history have been troubled by this issue, and the feeling that there’s an ongoing battle inside you. For boys like me, growing up in the 1980s the show that taught the most valuable life lessons relating to the nature of good and evil was Transformers.
In an interesting parallel, Post-Mao China and I were in a similar position back in the ‘80s. We both lacked leadership and required lessons in how to be good. With the need to fill the void created after Mao passed, the Chinese embraced Optimus Prime’s leadership values and his embodiment of good. His image can be seen everywhere over here, from truck doors to t-shirts and badges. The Transformers is free of the political undertones of other cartoons from that era, such as GI Joe, and lacks the sexually explicit nature of Jem and the Holograms so was an obvious choice for the Communist Party to adopt as suitable entertainment for the proletariat.
 Deep in the mountainous regions of southern China, in a province named Yunnan, or “over the clouds”, by Emperor Wu in 109 BC due to its remoteness from the capital, there is a 40 ft statue of the new great Chinese leader, Optimus Prime. My pilgrimage to find him wasn’t without trial, but as they say:
Nothing of real value is easy.
I had often heard the fantastic stories from Yunnan travelers passing through Beijing; amazing images of a giant robot, children straining to leap from the top of one enormous foot to the other. I figured the tales tall, and if true, to be greatly exaggerated. The distant province had always interested me due to its exotic image and also because of its write-up in my Lonely Planet:
“Nicknames are affixed to everything in China, and Yunnan boasts more than its fair share. Since the province contains the nation's highest number of species of flora and fauna - including 2500 varieties of wild flowers and plants - it has been given monikers such as 'Kingdom of Plants (or Animals)', 'Garden of Heavenly Marvellous Flowers', and 'Hometown of Perfume'. Officials are less thrilled with the new tag 'Treasure House of Crude Drugs'.”
My opportunity to experience Yunnan for myself came when I visited as part of a soccer tour last year. We had one free afternoon scheduled in the provincial capital, Kunming, and whilst others saw the city’s sights or visited the nearby famous stone forest, I gathered two companions, checked supplies and ventured off to complete the pilgrimage that had begun 1000 miles north in Beijing.
The hardest part was yet to come however because the statue is not in the central city, and as we were to discover, the locals keep his secret location well guarded. Numerous locals feigned ignorance and stared back blankly as I asked in perfectly passable Mandarin; “Da jiqiren zai nali?” (“Where is the big robot?”).
Mid-afternoon arrived and we were no closer to our goal. Even pointing at my Autobot badge and doing my best dance floor robot garnered no reaction from the stony faced Kunmingers.
Until, that is, we happened across a wizened old man, easily 120 years old, who we could tell knew some ancient Chinese wisdom. His sunken eyes suddenly lit up at the mention of the big robot and pointing west he prophetically muttered “Yao yao ba”.
118? Could this be some long-lost code? A way to unlock Prime’s secret location?? The old Chinaman’s cryptic reply raised more questions than it answered…
I grew most frustrated and ready to give up, as the reality of our feebleness and impotence faced me. We didn’t deserve to meet Optimus if we couldn’t even solve a simple riddle like “118”.
Then the brains of our triumvirate piped up that perhaps 118 was the number of a local bus. Of course! 118, the number of the bus. The simplicity of this great Chinese riddle brought a tear to my eye and once more I was over-awed by China’s amazingly rich and compelling cultural history.
We were shaking and giggling as, later, we alighted the 118 bus at its terminus. We found ourselves well out of the city in a wide-avenued bus and truck factory industrial area. We felt small and humbled by the sheer scale of our impressive surroundings. No vehicle was under 20 feet long. It was just as my insignificance on this Earth was dawning upon me that I caught my first glimpse of Optimus. Click here for a larger pic (1024x768, 98k)
Even though he towered above me at an awesome 40 ft, it was his proportionate perfection and engineered beauty that made me immediately fall in love with him. His right hand held his gun down by his thigh, the left was raised, pointing in the direction his grand head faced; towards the horizon, towards the future.
As we moved closer we could make out other details; his steely eyes, his big black boots and on the back of his right leg, a mysterious chained and bolted door. Locals would later tell us that people used to climb up inside him via that door. However, this privilege was denied our race when once, too many fanatics piled into the viewing platform in his chest, causing panic and subsequently a horrific crush. It can only be described as a miracle that of the 58 Tibetan monks involved none suffered more than minor injuries, the worst of which was a bruised rib and a broken prayer wheel. All the same, a sad tale of man’s fear and greed spoiling the ideals of a truly great leader, who simply wanted to share his vision with us.
In the same way as Chairman Mao’s dead body is pickled in formaldehyde and on display in Tiananmen Square, so too have the Chinese resurrected Optimus Prime’s remains from Cybertron to memorialise his life and foolishly try to deny his death.
With a heavy heart I looked back just before boarding the bus into town. Shadows crept up his body, trying to pull him down, but he stood proud and strong, the last rays of sun still warming his angular face. Click here for a larger pic (576x768, 44.2k) The battle between good and evil continues to rage within each of us. But now, when I’m challenged I find comfort in knowing he’s out there.
In a remote corner of mountainous Southern China.
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