RELIGION
Once there was a man called Larry Carl Tate who claimed that he was descended from a tribe of Space Apes. These Intergalactic Super Simians are said to have built man’s greatest monuments, starting with the Hoover Dam and ending with the first Kenny Rogers Roasters restaurant. He said he had been sent by the Space Apes to keep an eye on the upkeep of these facilities, clean the toilets (taking special care to replace the Cosmic Urinal Cakes), and shoo any unpleasant teenagers away.

Due to work visa restrictions he was not able to gain employment in all of these facilities at once. A loyal group of followers believing in the Cosmic Crusade for Cleanliness of Larry Carl Tate (people known as Lactates) banded together to control the upkeep of the Space Apes’ gifts to mankind. Whenever you see a janitor or security guard at a building built between 1931 and 1991 you will know that he is a Space Ape worshipping Lactate. And if anyone were to make a movie about them, we would place our review here.

• Audience of One (2007) - ***

• Constantine (2005) - ***1/2

• Da Vinci Code, The (2006) - *

• Flock of Dodos: The Evolution-Intelligent Design Circus (2006) - ****

• Jesus Camp (2006) - ****
  

• Jonestown: The Life and Death of Peoples Temple (2006) - ****

• Passion of the Christ, The (2004) - ***

• Princess (2006) - ***

• Requiem (2006) - ****

• Trial of Joan of Arc (1962) - *****

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