MOTEL HELL
***1/2 out of *****

Genres
Comedy
Horror

1980
Directed by
Kevin Connor
Written by
Robert Jaffe, Steven-Charles Jaffe, Tim Tuchrello
Cast
Rory Calhoun ....  Vincent Smith
Paul Linke .... Sheriff Bruce Smith
Nancy Parsons .... Ida Smith
Nina Axelrod .... Terry
Wolfman Jack .... Reverend Billy
Elaine Joyce .... Edith Olson
Monique St. Pierre .... Debbie
Rosanne Katon .... Suzi
E. Hampton Beagle .... Bob Anderson
Everett Creach .... Boris 'Bo' Tulinski
Gwil Richards .... Mr. Owens

Rory Calhoun is more than a Simpsons' reference

The use of colour could be symbolic

Rory Calhoun is one of those people, like Chuck Norris has recently become, that a lot of people only really know because he has been referenced elsewhere.  Originally coming to prominence as an actor in Westerns (movie and TV) during the 1950s he had a long acting career 'til his death in the late 1990s.  Rory’s most recent moment of fame, and perhaps the reason he is known at all to the latest generation of consumers is from the greyhound puppies episode of The Simpsons, where Mr Burns referrers to the puppies, Bart and Lisa as “little Rory Calhouns”.  This is why I chose to see Motel Hell, and while it is kind of silly, it did mean that I watched a thoroughly enjoyable movie that I probably would not have seen otherwise.

The Secret Ingredient is PEOPLE!

Strangely feminine

RC plays silver-haired farmer Vincent Smith, who runs a smoked meat company and a motel in an undisclosed location.  He lives with his sister, the perennially hungry Ida, and his younger brother Bruce is the county Sheriff.  He is a pillar of the community, but he and his sister hold a dark secret.  The secret ingredient of their smoked meats is human flesh, farmed through the kidnapping of travellers on nearby roads, who are induced to crash through a variety of methods.

The pursuit of taste, excitement and morality in crime

Country living is healthy!!

So what are the motives of the two mad Smiths? Taste, and excitement and a desire to help reduce global over-population.  As their granny was famous for saying, “Meat's meat, and a man's gotta eat”, it doesn’t matter where the meat comes from, so long as it tastes good, and human meat apparently tastes very good.  Living in the country can be dull, and to liven this up, both Rory and Ida devise elaborate schemes to waylay travellers who they then farm for the meat.  The scene with the pretend cows on the road was priceless. What story would be complete without a moral, and who can deny that there are too many people in the world? Of course I can’t say that eating our way out of the problem is something that appeals to me, but then I am not a scientist.  Or dietician.

Love can be found by the roadside

Making a living from smoking people can be lonely, and even the company of one’s sister may not be enough.  Is it any wonder Rory attempts to woo the young blond victim, Terry, of one of his arranged crashes?  While he may be a human-smoking monster at night, during the day he is the very image of a well-mannered, god-fearing gentleman.  A stark contrast from her presumed dead biker boyfriend awaiting smoking out back, or even Rory’s boorish, wandering-handed kid brother the Sheriff.  Despite the horrific nature of Rory’s crimes one can’t but have some sympathy for his courting of Terry.

Atmosphere is important

Rory: Actor  and Doll

There were a couple of neat things, mainly around atmosphere, that I liked about Motel Hell, the use of night/day, and the constant background of televangelists.  Largely things that are bad, or related to horror happen at night, as per standard horror rules, and nice, happy things happen during the day.  But unlike many horror films there are a lot of daytime scenes, where the atmosphere feels genuinely good.  There are a lot of nice things, like the jaunt on the lake, the bath scene, the visit to town, all of which are bright and cherry, hell, I was tempted to dive into the TV (it is winter as I write this).

Concluding remarks

The darkness counterpoints the  humour

The Horror-Comedy genre is one that I have always enjoyed, but for whatever reason these films are rather rare, or at least hard to find now.  Instead we have been saddled with bastardised blockbuster junk like the Scary Movie franchise. Rather than waste your time with a bunch of lame references strung together into a movie that will make no sense in ten years time I advise watching this largely forgotten gem from 1980.

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