Rank | Change | Last | Player | Comments |
1
| + 4
| 5
| Tsetse Fly  | Just when we thought we’d licked these blighters with net curtains, they start spreading the accursed nagana through the livestock. Now our horsies won’t gallop and no one has cream for their crumpets. |
2
| + 4 | 6
| Allan Quatermain | England rejoices! Quatermain returns from his time travel adventure and embarks on a brave expedition for gold in the unknown interior. It’s our 5% share in his findings that has us excited. |
3
| NC | 3
| Kurtz  | Several members of the Company have attempted to coax Kurtz back to Mother England; none could make enough sense of his rambling to tell us if he did or did not agree to depart. |
4
| - 3 | 1
| Lion  | This month a double dose of disaster befell these murderous mammals; first, the much anticipated turnover of the social order took place. Second, the newly dominate brash young leadership greedily ripped into a crate of expired plum sauce which exploded and scattered plum-flavoured lion across the banks of the Limpopo. |
5
| + 8
| 13
| Hyena
 | Usually relegated to supping on the lion’s leavings, these chuckling madmen fed on their marinated enemies with sadistic glee. Do we rejoice? Our souls are in turmoil over this turn of events. |
6
| + 13
| 19 | Malaria
 | Those cold shivers may not kill sturdy explorers, but they are a bloody pain and make us want to cry. |
7
| - 3
| 4
| Tarzan  | Above all, these rankings are a popularity contest, and we all know gold buys a great deal of that elusive psychic substance. Ridding Africa of the zombies was a good deed, but zombies don’t have gold (see #2 – Allan Quatermain). |
8
| + 2 | 10
| Badly Loaded Martini-Henry Rifle  | While loading the hand-held death dealers is still a hazardous fiddle, community classes have been popping up in missionary chapels up and down the continent. |
9
| - | NR | Thatch Missionary Chapels  | More explorers died in education-related chapel fires this month than from any other cause. Could the Lord be against the propagation of hand held weaponry? Perish the thought at once. |
10
| - 2
| 8
| Quinine  | Do you ever have the feeling that you want a taste of quinine, then you have too much at once and you get sick of it, and then you get malaria and you say, “I cannot countenance another droplet of that medication”? |
11
| NC | 11
| Rhino  | “Am I the forgotten menace?” the Rhino seems to ask us.
|
12
| - 5
| 7
| Elephant  | Their incessant trampling of crops and ladies continues, but we hear rumours of advancements in Elephant Gun technology; jacketed projectiles and smokeless powders - will these finally tip the scales to England in the struggle between gentlemen and crazed pachyderms? |
13
| - | NR
| Great White Shark
 | Thanks to this carnivorous sea-dog, the Cape Town chapter of the Oxford Swimming and Fishing Society has been disbanded. Literally. |
14
| + 4
| 18
| Wild Date Palm
 | Several foolish gents have been scorched to oblivion through the twin hazards of this tree's sweet liquor followed by a noon day kip under its scanty leaves. Boys, you’re not in Cambridge any more. |
15
| - 3
| 12 | Frederick Selous  | Poor Freddy, the road through lion country was a success, but all lion-vanquishing glory was taken by a condiment. But no condiment could undertake negotiations for British control of Manica, as Freddy has been sent to do. |
16
| - | NR
| Samuel Baker  | Mr. Baker comes to Africa with hopes of discovering the source of the Nile. His reputation and skills are impeccable, but it is not an uncommon event on this continent to happen across a man’s bleached bones and remark that “this is a surprise, his reputation and skills were impeccable.” |
17
| - 1
| 16
| Whistling Thorn
 | So, all you do is hide ants in your thorns, and yet we can’t stop bumping into you at picnics. Curses! |
18
| + 2
| 20
| No. 27 Engine - South African Railways  | Its schedule has been doubled, and its track extended; that means more foolish animals will meet their technological fate. Nature, beware the siren song of a sturdy British train whistle, for it signals the onslaught of Industry! |
19
| - 4
| 15
| She  | Now, darling, you are beginning to give us the willies…not only have you been telegramming us four times an hour, but we caught you sleeping in the alley behind the office in our Chairman’s pilfered overcoat. Please, you’re a fine woman, but we need space to develop as gentlemen. |
20
| - 3
| 17
| Wild Dogs  | These rather silly animals make fine pets for lonely fellows…but will tensions between domesticated hounds and their wild brethren become a problem? |
