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Written by Mandroid3000
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CHUCK NORRIS KARATE KOMMANDOS
** out of *****
 Genres
1986
Directed by
Charles A. Nicholls
John Kimball
Voice cast
Chuck Norris
Robert Ito
Sam Fontana
Rodney Kageyama
Bill Martin
Bob Ridgely
Michael Chan
Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos isn’t really a movie. Several episodes of the Saturday morning cartoon are strung out to create a “Movie length animated adventure!” It’s pretty clear where this happens, but it’s a  minor quibble. Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos is exactly what it should be, a fast-paced almost nonsensical action cartoon. It won’t be appealing to anyone except the lovers of cheesy 80s animation, but why should it?
Most of the background to the story I found out from the back of the video box. Chuck Norris (which is actually the name of the character voiced by Chuck Norris) is a special government agent charged with protecting freedom. His Karate Kommandos are your usual bunch of cartoon warriors, the kid (called Too  Much, who repeats that as his catch phrase ad nauseum), the comedy fat guy, the steely warrior, and the beautiful women. We’re never really introduced to them, just thrown straight into the action.
The one thing that binds together the episodes is that Chuck and his Kommandos battle The Klaw and his henchman The Super Ninja. The Klaw is the typical criminal mastermind who wants to destroy/take over/hold to ransom the world. He has a giant golden claw in place of one hand, though all we see him do with it is crush a piranha and pull a dainty lever. The Super  Ninja is the minor villain who gets beat up by Chuck in every episode then screams “Norris!!!!” while shaking his fist.
The whole thing is basically a series of non-stop outlandish action scenes, punctuated by bad one-liners, some clumsy animation, and Chuck Norris’ typically lazy delivery of dialogue. Yeah, there’s a whole bunch of continuity errors. Sure it often makes no sense. But that’s not what this show’s about. This is about over-the-top action. And it delivers it in spades.
 In its 98 minute running time you get a battle in an underwater base, trained dolphins, zombies, ninjas, alligators, and a trip to outer space. There’s nowhere else you’ll get to see an animated Chuck Norris flying around outer space by propelling himself with a fire extinguisher. Where else will you see alligators with parachutes being catapulted through office windows? Or how about a low-gravity battle where people slowly float away when they’re hit? Nowhere, and if that’s appealing then this is the movie for you.
 Obviously you wouldn’t be renting this to see a high quality movie. But if you’re looking for an entertaining 80’s cartoon, then Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos fits the bill. And, even though I enjoy good films, in the privacy of my home I’d much rather watch Karate Kommandos again than something like Finding Neverland. There you have it. I’m an idiot. Now you know. |
