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The 100 Worst Horror Movie Names Written by Mandroid3000
Enough time has past since I compiled my list of the 100 worst martial arts movie names for me to forget how mind numbing that exercise was. So after again trawling through thousands of film titles, I find myself again never vowing to do it again. While trawling I tried to avoid the titles that were purposefully campy (Biker Zombies from Detroit), the painfully bad puns that are nonetheless amusing (The Dentist 2: Brace Yourself), American pornos as opposed to Euro nudie horrors (House on Chasey Lane), confusing literal English title translations that weren't actually used on a video box (Bewitch Tame Head), rad non-English titles (El Superloco), and movies from 1902 that sounds like the greatest thing ever (A Fight with Sledgehammers). Some of the titles below are just one of many that the films are known by. But that still means that somewhere at some time, these films were marketed under these names. I can't tell you exactly how the rankings were computed; the statistical method was highly complex and I just don't have room in my house for a Fields Medal. IMPORTANT: This list says absolutely nothing about the quality of the films themselves.  100 - There Is a Secret in My Soup (IMDb)
2001 – Hong Kong
If you know about it, don't fall for it.
99 - Love Me Vampire (IMDb)
1986 – Hong Kong
Is that to be said with a Cockney twang? 98 - Porno Holocaust (IMDb)
1981 - Italy
Everyone goes blind and gets hairy palms leading to civilisation's fall? 97 - The Sinners of Hell (IMDb)
1960 - Japan
Isn't that like saying “The English of England”? 96 - Nude Fear (IMDb)
1998 – Hong Kong
Not an epsiode of Arrested Development. 95 - I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer (IMDb)
2006 - USA
Good for you.  94 - Night of the Bloody Apes (IMDb)
1969 - Mexico
Everyone likes monkeys. Nobody likes bloody apes. Fact.
93 - The Maniac Responsible (IMDb)
1975 - Italy
But is he legally responsible if he's affilicted by mania? 92 - The Adult Version of Jekyll & Hide (IMDb)
1972 - USA
A title with all the titilation of a human reporduction textbook. And what's with the spelling of "Hyde"? 91 - The Horrible Sexy Vampire (IMDb)
1970 - Spain
A goth girl who smells of cigarettes, mayhaps?  90 - The Exorcist: The Version You Haven't Seen Yet (IMDb)
1973 - USA
This title will self-destruct in two hours.
89 - The Hotel!! (IMDb)
2002 - Thailand
What about it?? 88 - Bodies Bear Traces of Carnal Violence (IMDb)
1973 - Italy
Could be a TV Guide synopsis of SVU. 87 - Sewage Baby (IMDb)
1990 - USA
What happens when you try and use a rubbish bag for a contraceptive? 86 - Island of the Burning Doomed (IMDb)
1967 - UK
It was either that or “Island of the Burn Victims”.  85 - The Haunted Pussy (IMDb)
1976 – USA
This is not a Poe adaptation.
84 - Space Invasion from Lapland (IMDb)
1959 – USA/Sweden
Someone doesn't like the Scandanavians. 83 - The Woman Vampire (IMDb)
1959 - Japan
Sounds like part of a 1950s comedy routine about 'the wife'. 82 – Aerobicide (IMDb)
1986 - USA
Last time I asked about gym membership fees I thought I was going to die.  81 - The Shrinking Corpse (IMDb)
1970 - Spain/USA/UK
Corpses shrink because they're getting eating by maggots. Deal with it.
80 - Writhing Tongue (IMDb)
1980 - Japan
In New Zealand we call it “pashing”. 79 - Devil Bear (IMDb)
1977 - USA
A bear with horns and hooves would look pretty sweet...it should be a staple of crayon fantasy art. 78 – The Vampire People (IMDb)
1966 - USA/Philippines
After so many vampire films, I think it's only worth mentioning the species if you have a vampire dugong.  77 - Lewd Lizard (IMDb)
1985 – Hong Kong
Seriously, just read this plot summary.
76 - Who's Next (IMDb)
1972 – West Germany/Italy
Shouldn't that be a question? 75 - A Fairy's Mandarin Duck (IMDb)
1990 – South Korea
<<shudders>> 74 - BigBrother.com the Movie (IMDb)
2000 - USA
Note: web sites are not scary. Not even the ones with autopsy photos and midis of the theme to Ghostbusters. 73 - House of Insane Women (IMDb)
1971 - Spain
That's where I live. 72 - Beauty with No Neck (IMDb)
1966 – South Korea
Whatever floats your boat, brother.  71 - So Naked, So Dead (IMDb)
1972 - Italy
From joy to, I sincerely hope, despair. An alternate title for this film is the informative The Slasher Is the Sex Maniac.
70 - Horror Hotline...Big Head Monster (IMDb)
2001 – Hong Kong
That describes most talk radio hosts. 69 - Sexual Parasite: Killer Pussy (IMDb)
2004 - Japan
I looked the film up...I saw some NSFW pictures ...it looked silly. 68 - Mutation 2 - Generation Dead (IMDb)
2001 - Germany
“Generation” anything is so gnarly and tubular I want to grind a ramp. 67 - JEEpERs CrEEpers (IMDb)
2001 - USA/Germany
Random capitalisation is almost as silly as a demon that signals its impending arrival by making random sound equipment play the novelty record “Jeepers Creepers” (yes, that actually happens). 66 - Troll III: Contamination Point 7 (IMDb)
1990 - Canada
At last, the series team up and all the loose ends are tied up. 65 - Zoom Up: Rape Site (IMDb)
1979 - Japan
I don't know what the hell that means. But no surprises in its country of origin. 64 - Dirty Cop No Donut (IMDb)
1999 - USA
Oooh, he must be tough if he avoids refined sugar and doesn't bathe.  63 - Revenge from Planet Ape (IMDb)
1971 - Spain/Portugal
If it has to come from somewhere, Planet Ape is a decent choice. See the bottom of this page for a humorous explanation of the title.
62 - Evil Dead Trap 3: Broken Love Killer (IMDb)
1993 - Japan
One half clumsy knock-off, one half emo poem. 61 - Howling II: Stirba - Werewolf Bitch (IMDb)
1985 - USA/UK
That title has real edge. The edge of a poo. 60 - Eating Schoolgirls: Osaka Telephone Club (IMDb)
1997 - Japan
The delivery fees are prohibitive, and their fries aren't great. 59 - Pig-Chicken Suicide (IMDb)
1981 - Japan
But which language do they leave the note in? 58 - The Coma-Brutal Duel (IMDb)
1999 - Germany
Uh...what? 57 - The Untold Story: Human Meat Roast Pork Buns (IMDb)
1993 – Hong Kong
If a story is untold, don't give it away right after the colon. And if it's human meat how can it be pork?  56 - The Beast That Molested Women (IMDb)
1965 - USA
They didn't make a movie about my Uncle Dwayne, IMDb's plot outline says “A giant gorilla terrorizes a nudist camp."
55 - Barn of the Naked Dead (IMDb)
1974 - USA
A barn full of nude corpses. I wonder how they got there. Probably a werewolf. 54 - The Carpet of Horror (IMDb)
1962 – Spain/Italy/West Germany
I now make reference to the state an unnamed friend left the carpet in his University hostel room. 53 - Ghost Story of Broken Dishes at Bancho Mansion (IMDb)
1957 - Japan
Oh, is that what it's about? Broken dishes, you say. Bancho Mansion, well...it's not my favourite mansion to be honest. 52 - Monster & Tiger Man (IMDb)
1944 - USA
Fighting crime...jungle crime. I hope. 51 - Blind Beast vs. Dwarf (IMDb)
2001 - Japan
Think of the slapstick. One's blind. One's little. One's laughing (me!) 50 – Beaks: The Movie (IMDb)
1987 - Mexico/Spain
At last the movie version comes out. 49 - Death Wheelers Are... Psycho Maniacs (IMDb)
1971 - UK
Good for them. 48 - Asylum of the Insane (IMDb)
1972 - UK/USA
Isn't that like saying “ The Sinners of Hell”?  47 - Caucasian Ghost (IMDb)
1963 - Japan
Would you be able to see it at all? Zoinks!
46 - The Savage Bees (IMDb)
1976 - USA
They growl as they sting you...to death. 45 - The Joy of Torture 2: Oxen Split Torturing (IMDb)
1976 - Japan
It's not the oxen getting split, but fair Japanese maidens. 44 - Sars Wars (IMDb)
2004 - Thailand
Ha ha. Nice try. 43 - Sexy Nights of the Living Dead (IMDb)
1980 - Italy
I like zombies as much as the night guy, but not in that way. 42 - Hide and Freak (IMDb)
1990 - France
Sounds like a tacky mid-90s Halloween/ghetto-themed porno. 41 - Deadly Dracula (IMDb)
1992 - India
He's just misunderstood.  40 – Werewolves on Wheels (IMDb)
1971 – USA
Will their paws fit in the foot straps?
39 - The Screaming Head (IMDb)
1959 – West Germany
Isn't that like having a Deadly Dracula? 38 - Leprechaun 4: In Space (IMDb)
1997 - USA
The trip yielded slightly more useful data than the International Space Station. 37 - I Like Bats (IMDb)
1986 - Poland
Me too. 36 - Tonight I Will Paint in Flesh Colour (IMDb)
1967 - Brazil
Send me a link to your portfolio. 35 - Face of the Screaming Werewolf (IMDb)
1964 - Mexico/USA
Just the face? 34 - Love Wanga (IMDb)
1936 - USA
Not really, but if that's the way you swing... 33 - Deadly Treasure of the Piranha (IMDb)
1979 - Italy/Brazil/USA
Piranhas are known for their treasure hoarding habits. 32 - KVC: Komodo vs. Cobra (IMDb)
2005 - USA
Ripping off AVP? Now that's pathetic. 31 - Nasty Hunter (IMDb)
1988 - Indonesia
For some reason I imagine this is a porno masquerading as a Don 'The Dragon' Wilson movie.  30 - The Manster (IMDb)
1962 - USA/Japan
Sometimes compounded monster names just sound wrong.
29 - Weak-kneed from Fear of Ghost-Cat (IMDb)
1954 - Japan
I just can't think of anything to say about cats. 28 - The Killer Shrews (IMDb)
1959 - USA
A veiled metaphor for 'the wife'? Ah, the '50s. 27 - 7eventy 5ive (IMDb)
2006 - USA
7hat7 7itl3 5ucking 7ucks a77. 26 - Scary Hair (IMDb)
2005 – South Korea
Cut it, you damn hippie.  25 - Crazy Lips (IMDb)
2000 - Japan
Someone finally made a film about Lambert, Hendricks & Ross?
24 – The Revenge of the Savage Bees (IMDb)
1978 – USA
Who gave scientists money to make vengeance-seeking bees? 23 - The Witch with Flying Head (IMDb)
1977 – Hong Kong
I have to defer to the IMDb plot outline on this one: “A woman who has been cursed by a witch must rip off her head every night so it can fly around, attack people and drink their blood, which keeps her alive. “ 22 - The Oily Maniac (IMDb)
1976 – Hong Kong
Please insert your own tired George Bush joke here. 21 - Witchery Deal (IMDb)
2003 - Spain
“I'll pay you ten bucks to stop with the witching”, that sort of thing? 20 - Killing vs. Frankenstein (IMDb)
1967 - Turkey
Frankenstein has always been a symbol of pacifism. 19 - Shiny Moss (IMDb)
1992 - Japan
Lights the path...to terror!  18 - Night Legs (IMDb)
1971 - UK
Do you store them during the day or just wear a pant suit?
17 - Zombie Nosh (IMDb)
1988 - USA
What they put in hot dogs. 16 - Night of a 1000 Cats (IMDb)
1972 - Mexico
The title should be Night of an 1000 Cats. 15 - The Nostril Picker (IMDb)
1993 - USA
I think I spotted this guy at the traffic lights.  14 - Pituitary Hunter (IMDb)
1990 – Hong Kong
Shouldn't be that hard to find.
13 - Bloodbath Bay of Blood (IMDb)
1971 - Italy
Is it a bath or a bay? Either way, this film is better known as Twitch of the Death Nerve. 12 – Japula (IMDb)
1971 - Japan
Surprisngly, not a WWII Bugs Bunny cartoon. 11 - Raped by an Angel 4: The Raper's Union (IMDb)
1999 – Hong Kong
I guess there comes a time when everyone needs to get organised. 10 - Murder Alligator (IMDb)
1989 - Italy
Proving intent to murder will be difficult. 9 - Nobody Ordered Love (IMDb)
1971 - UK
I hope you got an exchange card. 8 - Ghost with Hole (IMDb)
1982 - Indonesia
Oooo...is this about Kurt Cobain? 7 - The Giant Behemoth (IMDb)
1959 - UK/USA
Redundant repition of an unneccessarily repeated phrase that's the same thing twice.  6 - X Imp (IMDb)
1999 – Hong Kong
The letter X needs to be retired.
5 - The Ghost of the Pot Comes to Life (IMDb)
1956 – Hong Kong
If you put it that way it sounds like quite a reasonable thing to do. 4 - The Extraterrestrial Nasty (IMDb)
1967 - USA
Remember when the phrase 'video nasty' was bandied about. No? That's because you're not old like me you lucky bastard. 3 - The Enema Killer (IMDb)
1977 - USA
Enemas are not just an essential part of your fad diet anymore. Also known as Water Power and The Enema Bandit. Yeesh! 2 - The Aliens and Kong Kong Zombie (IMDb)
1989 – South Korea
What do you suppose they do together? 1 - The Pig Fucking Movie (IMDb)
1974 - Belgium
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