Spider-Man 3: Pirated Chinese Edition

Written by Mandroid3000

Most of you will have seen Spider-Man 3 by now. While, as of this writing, it is still playing in theatres, the pirated DVD is being sold in the markets, subway stations, and pirate DVD stores of Beijing. No surprises there. 

You probably remember those famous Star Wars: Episode III subtitles (“Do Not Want” - I failed to find the original link). With those in mind I thought I'd grab Spider-Man 3 and see if terrible closed-captioning was a DVD standard feature here.

Happily it is; if the DVD is of a movie that doesn't yet have an official DVD release (in which case the real DVD just gets burned and sold), chances are good that there'll be a homemade subtitle track on it.

I have no idea why the pirates bother to add an English subtitle track. I can't even offer a vaguely plausible reason. The Chinese subtitles, sure. But...well, it's not the only thing they try to do. They make their own cover, often with their own bizarro world credit list. Did you know that these individuals were involved in Spider-Man 3?

• Stars: Jon Brion (that's it)

• Producers: Samuel L. Jackson, Olivier Martinez, LL Cool J, Reg E. Cathey and Ashley Scott

• Director: Paul Thomas Anderson

They also make sure to paste on a bonus fetaures box, though none of these features are on the disc:

• “The, Quest fot the Ring” (as debuted on the FBC Network)

• “A Passage to Middle-earth” [as premiered on the SCL-FI Channel]

• Elijah Wood,Ian Mc Kellen, Viggo Mortensen, Liv Tyler,and others

And there's the quotes from critics: Spider-Man 3 is “a dizzy, gratifying experience” according to film critic Oren Ceibermoa of Eatertaiameet Weetry.

On to the movie (fyi - I plan on posting screencaps of different movies over the coming months) 

The Main Players

In the role of Peter.Pa.gram:

And last, but certainly not least, the lucky actor chosen to personify Admire Rui:

The adventure continues...